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Why Guys Don't Get Dates on Tinder: Reasons, Solutions and Tips 2021

Why Guys Don't Get Dates on Tinder: Reasons, Solutions and Tips 2021

Online dating has become a huge phenomenon in the last few years. Tinder is one of the most popular online dating apps out there and it's not just for hooking up anymore! Tinder provides you with an opportunity to meet new people, date someone, or even find your perfect partner for a long-term relationship.

However, Tinder can be frustrating at times because many guys do not understand how to get a girl on a date from Tinder so they end up struggling...

So many attractive women and yet..

Getting a strong profile is clearly the first key.  But what if you do not get dates after that?

We cover in this article the main reasons you do not get dates and give some solutions to correct those little flaws.

Bare with us, read the article up to the end! And let us know if it worked for you!

  1. Is there something wrong with my face?
  2. I have no idea what I'm texting
  3. First step: the open.
  4. How long does it take to get a date on tinder? Timing is key!
  5. Follow the lead: get a structure.
  6. Last point: How do you date someone on tinder?

Without further waiting, let's get to it!

Is there something wrong with my face?

Optimise tinder profile

No there is not. Especially for men, beauty is something really relative.

Start with the basics. If you don’t have a solid profile, chances are you don’t even get enough matches in the first place!

Your profile is your showroom on dating apps. Make it clean. Show your best self! No need to catfish but a lot of work can be done.

Get a profile review from us, to start increasing your number of matches today!

Most people, including myself when I started, doubt how much they can improve their profile by changing and editing pictures.

 

Tinder Profile Review and Online Dating Tips - ROAST
It’s time to get a Tinder profile that makes a difference. ROAST is the most effective tool to improve your online dating profile and get matches on Tinder.

 

A common mistake on dating apps is to have a profile that screams “friendly” when it is not what is really sexy and attractive!

You can get a lot of inspiration online about male poses!

Spoiler alert: it takes time and effort. But anybody can do it!

Now you worked on having profile pictures that just make you shine, and attract a lot of girls. Your match rate has exploded.

Having a shiny dating profile in itself is great. But one thing can change a lot how your conversations go: how much material do you give for conversation in it?

Girls are exactly like you, and likely to struggle to launch the conversation.

Bringing things to bounce on, on your profile photos or bio is a very good way to have an entertaining vibe!

So think about it! Is my picture great? If so, does it bring much material to start or entertain a good conversation?

 

Bring material in your tinder conversations

With such a photo on your profile, do you find it hard to find a good opener? How many sentences/questions can you come up with looking at this picture?

Same with the bio. I always insist on saying your bio should have a catchy line, a challenging line to girls. A teasing sentence, a funny line, a truth or dare vibe that is easy to jump on!

Image how many girls would write to you first with such a picture on your profile!    That was the main first step. Let's get to the next ones!

 

I have no idea what I'm texting.

Texting tinder to get dates

 

Let’s face it. If you have matches, and no dates, there is something wrong with your texting!

It is a big limiting belief to think that texting is only a natural thing.  Not working on it is like hitting your head into a wall repeatedly instead of going around: may work with luck, but will be long and painful!

In order to observe changes, and get different results, you need to re-read your texting conversation.

Understand what happened. Did you get ghosted? Tell me Why!

I will give one single question to ask yourself when texting a girl: Why would this girl go out with you?

It seems to be a stupid question, but what does this potential partner know about you?

Let's face it: she is very likely to have many other options on dating apps. May be Tinder, Bumble or Hinge, or any other popular dating app.

So more precisely: What does the girl know about you that should make her go out with you?

You need to convey everything that is cool about you. For two simple reasons:

  • You want to stand out from your competition.
  • You are responsible for the information she gets about you. That's your job!

This question should be your guide through texting. A good first one at least!

If you honestly ask yourself this question, you should find flaws in your texting.

I can bet a lot of money that many guys will realize: Omg, she knows nothing. Just that I make silly jokes.


First step: the open.

tinder opener text

To begin with, the opener. See our article fully focusing on this.

You will get an immediate idea of tips and tricks to strike a good first impression.

Openers have underlying principles.

If you didn’t question yourself before, it is normal that the lines coming to your head are not super-efficient.

Your goal is to be impactful and to stand out from other men, this girl may have matched.

I remember when I started using dating apps. My engineer brain immediately saw some patterns in what worked and what did not!

It however cost me a LOT of trials and errors before really understanding the underlying.

The last important role of the opener is to set the vibe of the interaction.

If you open with something dull and closed such as “how are you”, all the work still needs to be done to create banter, a good vibe, or something sexual.

Open with something more playful and teasing, and. The vibe will be totally different. Probably sexual quite fast!


How long does it take to get a date on tinder? Timing is key!


how long to get a date on tinder

 

Many guys make a mistake around text timing. There is a balance to find. If you play it too much like a teenager “I take twice as long as you to reply”, you will lose her attention! She has probably plenty of matches that are talking to her.

Jumping on your phone to always reply straight away will make you appear as completely available, not challenging. You will probably lose her interest too.

Before becoming a potential long-term partner, the conversation has to be light, fun, and playful.

There is a happy middle between those extremes. The first part helps to create desire, makes you seem mysterious.

The second part has advantages too: if she just texted you, she is available.

Most importantly, don’t overthink this. Text when you feel like it.

One last tip: think if you text out of fear of losing her or not.

 

Follow the lead: get a structure.

get a texting structure dating apps


First question, do you have any? What is the ideal text structure in your opinion?

like I said earlier, without a structure, your texting is likely looking like this:

I say a funny line to you
Some back and forth on the line
Then I playfully invite you to a date

And finally, I'm surprised most stop answering.

When I first started dating apps, I had none. Big mistake if you followed me there. How can I re-read what I did, how can I self-analyze if I do not have a structure to refer to?

I was there doing a playful opener, being a nice guy, very polite.

Being too nice and polite is a big common flaw. Girls want to play! They want to be challenged!

If you are too friendly, guess what, you will become a friend. How to spot that? You try to PLEASE!

People, especially girls, feel it when you bend your tastes to theirs. And it is not attractive at all.

At best, it seems cute. Like a kid trying to impress adults.

At worse it is horrible. You may seem super sneaky. Hiding something. We cannot trust people that do not stand hard their ground!

I began to understand this and transitioned to opener - banter - sexual banter and offering a date.

And there was a lot of back and front! Sexualization, talking like sexual beings is super important. However, it must happen at the right time.

Too early and you seem weird.

Too late, and the girl has lost interest.

We help our clients understand the right time! But it depends a lot on the girl and yourself!

However, what mistake was I making when following this newbie structure? Well, go back to the main question I mentioned above. I did not track at all “what the girl knows about me that should make her date me”.

That was my biggest flaw! We now have a way more comprehensive structure to cover this.

Last point: How do you date someone on tinder?

how to get a date from tinder

It is your duty to offer a date.

Girls are there for that! Don't get it twisted, people want to date more than ever.

Even if you sexualized the conversation, nothing will happen if you do not initiate the date at the right time. I would say it is better to try too early than too late first.

You will lose some conversations, but at least you move forward.

If you stay in the conversation, you may enjoy some back and forth sexting and other virtual things.

However, the mutual interest will decrease, and you are likely to lose again this girl, to a man that will have seen her face to face!

Before going to an actual date, you can add a virtual date such as a zoom date or others.

Offering such a thing has another advantage: it will filter out complete time wasters!

 

Conclusion

To get a date from tinder you need to go step by step.

  • First, fix your dating profile and pictures.
  • Then work on your texting.

We see it a lot with our clients. People think the most difficult part is to get matches.

It is wrong!

Matches are just the tip of the iceberg.

Most of the work needs to be done after.

If you want to push further, and understand better Tinder's dynamics, check out our Ebook about Tinder Hidden Mechanics.

You will get a good glimpse at what drives success on Tinder. Especially the mindset part that is super important and undermined.

Some comments our clients made about that!

“Wow thanks a lot for the tips!! The photos I had put can be improved upon. Will definitely work on that.... Thanks again!!”
“Wow man thanks so much for the tips! This is awesome! Will use and adapt!”
Very insightful! Feel like a lot of people need to see it. I’m gonna send it to my friend who was kinda having similar issues with Tinder.
Thank you friend! This is super helpful omg. I never know how many photos to put in a profile lol. Same with selfies.

If you are shy it's ok! You can also start optimizing today by analyzing your profile with ROAST.

 

Tinder Profile Review and Online Dating Tips - ROAST
It’s time to get a Tinder profile that makes a difference. ROAST is the most effective tool to improve your online dating profile and get matches on Tinder.