So you finally got the girl's number — now what? Sometimes, meeting women can feel so stressful that you totally forget what to do when things are going your way. But remember, if this hot girl wasn't interested, she wouldn't have shared her number — so you're already on the right track!
Try to keep in mind the common interests that got you here in the first place. Talk to her the same way you would any other girls. There's no magical answer for exactly what or how to text a girl. (As long as it's more than saying, "Hey," like most guys do.)
But if you'd like some extra guidance to get through these early stages of the relationship, read on for our free tips on what to do after you get her number, including advice for texting, keeping things light, and making sure she stays interested.
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The internet is full of advice about how long you're supposed to wait before a first text, how long to wait between texts, and every other detail of your relationship, too.
The first thing you need to do is forget all those rules.
For example, the "three day rule" is commonly quoted, but what's the point? Sure, you might not want to come across and creepy or overeager — and that's important, but there's no rule that will take care of that for you.
If you've really hit it off, you could absolutely miss your chance if you insist on following an arbitrary rule and don't strike while the iron is hot, just because internet dating advice said so. After all, you don't want to wait so long that she'll forget who you are!
Meanwhile, you could easily wait the three days and still come across as creepy if you say the wrong thing. Texting is both simpler, and more complicated, than anything that can be summed up into simple rules. What you need to do is read the room and make sure you're sharing the same vibe... not follow a textbook formula.
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Okay, we've already established that there are no rules, but there are still some guidelines. How soon you should text depends on the circumstances under which you got her number.
If she gave you her number on a dating app, it could make sense to establish text contact with a first message right away. Once you've exchanged numbers, there's no reason to keep chatting in the app — so go ahead and move the conversation to text message. It's also a good way to make sure you've got the number right while you've still got her attention online. It would suck to miss out on a match because of a typo you waited too long to discover.
If you got her number at the end of the first date — that's a good sign. She likes you enough to share her number, which means she probably wants to get together again. But how soon should you text? That depends on how well the date went.
If the date was off-the-charts good, it can work to text right away. Something like, "miss you already" or "hope you got home safely" can either come off as way too intense or as super sweet, depending on how emotionally connected you are at that point. So you need to be able to make an honest and accurate assessment of how the date went before you make the call.
If you're on the fence, wait until the next day to send a text message. (Remember that most men will blow it and come on too strong.)
Congratulations, you met someone in the wild! Sometimes, it still happens. If you met someone through friends or out at an event and exchange numbers, you may want to wait a minute to text.
If you text while you're still at the event it might seem strange — after all, aren't you both enjoying the event or talking to your friends? You don't want to come on too strong and make it seem like this person you just met is already more interesting than everything going on around you.
But — there's a loophole. One great way to exchange numbers and establish contact right away is to have one of you put your number in the other's phone, and then have them text right away — to establish the connection. That's an ideal icebreaker and will also allow you to send something silly in response. Try to keep a couple of good GIFs on hand for these occasions.
Your first message will help establish a pattern, so you want to get things started on the right foot. Here are some ideas for what to say once you get her number.
The first message doesn't need to be complicated! Try something like, "I had a great time last night," or "it was great meeting you." Just being straightforward is often the way to go, and you can always add a little interest to your texting by including some smiley faces or a GIF. Remember, if she's still interested, it won't take much effort to get a conversation going.
This strategy works on two levels. First, it simply reminds her who the heck you are, and saves any awkwardness that could come from her having to ask. Second, it reminds her why she wanted you to have her number in the first place. This could be a memory of sharing a good laugh on your date or at a party, or something funny that happened in an online conversation.
Whatever you choose, it helps reinforce the idea that the two of you already have a rapport, and that works wonders.
Want to make a bold move? Ask for her picture first thing. Remember, adding a girl to your phone gives you the perfect excuse — tell her you want an image to use for her contact photo.
If the connection is right for flirting at this point, you can even say you're looking forward to seeing her face pop up every time she sends you a message. If she's into you, she'll appreciate the compliment.
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There's no one right answer for when or how to text someone. The only way to know what's right is to pay attention. Listen to what's she saying, pay attention to body language if you're in person, and respond with the appropriate amount of enthusiasm. Coming on too strong, or being too aloof, can both backfire.
Just remember, exchanging phone numbers is a good sign — she wouldn't give you her number if she didn't want to exchange text messages or start talking. So try not to be insecure — that'll lead to making decisions that might push her away.
Instead, muster some confidence and act naturally. Being yourself will dramatically increase your chances of going from getting her number to establishing real relationships.
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Ben is one of the best Tinder Experts I've ever met and one of the few that cracked the algorithm of Tinder. Every week, Ben is publishing new articles on ROAST, helping 1M+ of people to get more matches, dates, and find the one!